He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.—Psalm 113:9, KJV
When my close friend, whom I’ll call Wendy, was struggling with infertility, I claimed the promise in Psalm 113:9 on her behalf. I could understand her longing, since I, too, had waited years for a child. Finally, Wendy and her husband had a healthy baby boy, and together we celebrated God’s answer to our prayers. But I never thought to claim Psalm 113:9 for myself. After all, I wasn’t barren—just single. Waiting for a husband was frustrating, but eventually God fulfilled that desire of mine. By the time Greg and I decided to start a family, I was thirty-nine. Despite being “geriatric” in obstetric and gynecological lingo, I conceived without any trouble.
However, when Austin was born, I quickly discovered that the “joyful” part of the verse didn’t come automatically. The constant round of nursing, diapers, baths, naps, and playtime, interspersed with cleaning, cooking, and grocery shopping, was exhausting—and that was just on the good days. It was much easier to be a frustrated, anxious, depressed, lonely, or even angry mother of children than a joyful one. I knew things had to change. Fortunately, the rest of Psalm 113 points the way to experiencing joy. The psalm praises God for His incomparable greatness and caring intervention in our lives. I realized that as I focus on God and His blessings, I leave no room for negative thoughts!
I can dwell on the sacrifices I’ve made to become a full-time mom, or I can thank God for the growth He is bringing into this new phase of my life. I can stew over the ways I think my husband should help out, or I can appreciate the ways he already shows his love. I can berate myself for my failures (like that humiliating moment when I found myself yelling, “Stay down!” at my uncooperative baby on the changing table), or I can pray for God’s help to do better next time. I can live in dread of Austin’s wails or in anticipation of his smiles. When Austin was only a few months old, I began singing to him every morning: “This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it” (see Psalm 118:24). Soon he would grin when I launched into the familiar melody, but the song was more for me than for him: a declaration of my choice to be a joyful mother even in my not-always-enjoyable circumstances. God is fulfilling His promise!
Rachel E. Cabose
First published in Carolyn Rathbun Sutton, ed., In His Presence (Silver Spring, MD: General Conference Women’s Ministries Department, 2018), 330.
