He made their hearts and understands everything they do.—Psalm 33:15, NCV
We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him.—Romans 8:28, NCV
My husband, Vladimir, was fifty-six years old. When he became ill suddenly, an ambulance was called. The doctor aboard diagnosed my husband with preinfarction syndrome. That Monday, our children and I prayed earnestly. We could visit him for only thirty minutes between 12:00 and 12:30 PM but not again until Tuesday. I was overjoyed to see that Vladimir felt good. The doctor said his condition was stable. On Wednesday, I called the hospital to ask if I could bring my husband clothes. A doctor said, “Your husband doesn’t need anything . . . anymore.” I didn’t understand. The doctor answered, “He passed away.”
“How?” I could hardly speak when the doctor said Vladimir had passed away at 10:30 the previous evening. “What shall I do?” I asked in shock. He told me to “go to the morgue,” and then he hung up. I don’t remember how I got to the morgue, the manager of which grumbled about my “coming so late.” I told her no one had notified me. Disgruntled, she said she was going to send a memo to the head doctor.
I can hardly remember the funeral. I couldn’t use my feet to get up. I remembered a verse in the Bible telling us things such as “rejoice evermore” and “in everything give thanks.” I was silently crying out, How, Lord? How is it possible to rejoice when having lost the person closest to my heart? That would be absurd! Rejoice that we lived together for thirty years and never had a fight? Rejoice that the years when we did everything together flew by way too fast?
Then a very clear thought came into my mind: Rejoice not concerning what you have lost but, rather, rejoice and give thanks for what you had. Though the pain at that moment was too bitter, over time, my sorrow became lighter. It became easier to remember the pleasant times.
Now I do thank God for what I had. God is too good and wise to make mistakes, and He won’t let the pain in this life destroy us. He says, “I am your Comforter and Helper every day.”
Liudmila Verlan
First published in Carolyn Rathbun Sutton, ed., In His Presence (Silver Spring, MD: General Conference Women’s Ministries Department, 2018), 335.
